Fug It Muh Dude (aka. "Life's A Bitch And Then You're Baphomet")

Don’t worry, I’m not the Illuminati. I just think Baphomet is the fuggin’ man.

Don’t worry, I’m not the Illuminati. I just think Baphomet is the fuggin’ man.

In the Daojia (Philosophical Daoism), all things are considered holographic manifestations of the Eternal Dao, which exists outside spacetime and can't be destroyed because it was never created. In the West, an equivalent term would be something along the lines of "The Unified Absolute".

The Eternal Dao is nameless, formless, and can't be put into words. I guess "Nonexistence" is a functional enough name for it here, but the term isn't all that accurate. It exists, it just exists outside what we're calling "reality".

The Nameless Superexisting Nonexistence Named Everynothing is split into two pieces so that it can manifest in the physical realm:

The Dao 
("The Natural Way of Being"/"Existence")

And the yin to that Dude’s yang…

The De
("The Natural Way of Doing"/"Energy")

We're inside the Dao viewing... umm... whatever it is we're viewing from a vantage point that's blocking our perception of actual reality. If we could take a viewpoint outside the manifested Dao and look at things from the eyes of the Infinite Supernothing, we'd know eternity is over already because it was really an individual "infinite moment" all along.

From our current viewpoint it appears as if we're passing from moment-to-moment as we ride along with the Arrow of Time. I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that isn’t the case though. To me it seems like the Dao (“Existence”) gets recreated anew with each passing second as a result of causality acting on the present. Remember the time I said we’re all the Dao, Dude? Well, the Dao is all existence, we’re existent, that means the Dao is us, bada-bing bada-boom… lemme double check… annnddd…

Yeah, that means you and I are constantly being reborn with each passing moment.

You know what, while I’m pretending I invented Zen enlightenment, I guess now is a good time to rehash previous stolen lessons about Zen rebirth. Alright so, everything is constantly being reborn with each passing second, including ourselves. Pretty dope, right? On top of that, a new version of you is also “reborn” in the eyes of everyone you meet.

In that same vein, an imaginary Dave just rebirthed all over your brainscape because you read this essay. I didn’t exist until you imagined me into existence to narrate for you. Dont you remember creating me out of nothing so I could read to you? Wait… you didn’t think the dude you’re hearing right now is actually the dude who wrote this essay, did you? That Dave is stuck way back in the past homie, and if I had to guess, I’d say Present Dave is in the comments of a Facebook meme arguing with some poor stranger over trivial bullshit right now.

I dunno. I’m the imaginary Dave that narrates his essays to his readers. Really, I’m only Imaginary Dave to average folk who haven’t studied advanced English Comp. People who’ve studied English imagined a generic a stock character named “The Narrator” because they know I only exist to dictate exposition. The point is, Dave channeled his essence into a narrator, that narrator read you this essay. The Spirit of Dave was reborn in your mind whether you know it or not.
(My narrators are extremely reliable, in case you’re wondering…)


We're not just reborn as imaginary stock character though. I’m 100% sure that after we die, we’re physically reborn as well. It’s physically impossible for us to not be The atoms that make up our bodies continue moving through the system after we pass away. Worms eat our bodies and shit out the atoms. Plants eat all that poop the worms leave them, and then we’re reborn as plants. Then grazing animals eat our plant selves and use the atoms to make cute widdle babies, and eventually yes, our atoms end up making brand new baby people. Now… as for whether or not our consciousness gets another shot at life… uhh…. don’t worry about that too much. Nobody who’s alive can know, and nobody who’s dead can tell you.

Even if your consciousness is reborn as a new person, that new person won’t be you because you only exist Right Here, Right Now. You’re never gonna be anyone else, because you’re not the same person who started reading the sentence that you just finished. You and I feel like we're the same people we were at the start of this essay, but really those dudes are forever stuck on the words, "In the Daojia..."

We’re past all that. Right now,we’re right here. We aren’t the dudes that’re currently reading the next paragraph yet, but you’ll turn into them very shortly if you keep reading. I actually wrote that paragraph as part of the original rough draft, and this paragraph was added later so I’ve already been there done that.

When I let myself drift down this line of thought, the only way life makes any sense is if eternity is over already. That means you and I are already dead, and we’re just the Dao’s memories of us. I don’t know why we’re the versions of us currently stuck in the present moment. Probably because we need to be, I guess? I’ll let you know if I figure it out.

“But Narrator, why did Past Dave make you tell me all this? Even if it’s true, it’s doesn’t effect what I’m doing today.”

Yeah, that’s true. Even if time is an illusion, we're forced to act as if it’s real in order to function. The metaphysical cosmology of the Daojia doesn’t really provide much actionable information either. Don’t hate tho. This useless trivia is by far the dankest, most spiciest memes that Past Dave had to offer at the time. Plus, you’re reading an essay posted to a blog called “The Spiritual Philosophies of a Stoned College Dropout”. If you came here expecting something useful or relevant then I dunno what to tell ya.

I still ain’t lyin’ to about this being the best advice I’ve got to offer though. Looking at reality as if it’s a holographic illusion and telling myself eternity is over already is the only way I can keep myself sane.

All this meaningless overthinking helps me face the day fearlessly and channel my painful, confusing past into positive creativity instead of self-loathing and destruction.

Have you ever heard the saying “Let the chips fall where they may”? Well they’ve already fallen, and they’re already there. I’m just watching the replay. I can’t change a replay, so I don’t gotta let things <do/be> anything. Living in constant fear of the unknown won’t make any difference in the end. If and when the future comes, I'll end up doing whatever I did at the time, and whatever happens happened.

There’s so many people that back down from everything because taking a stand means taking a risk. They’re so afraid of dying that they never let themselves live. I’m not about that life these days. I’ve moved on to bigger and better mistakes. All I gotta do is trust my instincts and go with the flow. There’s a whole world filled with wild new ways to fail and every day is monkeyfucked clown fiesta if I never stop clownin’ around.

"Fuck it dawg. Life's a risk and then you die."